Hannah Brencher

Have you ever walked to the mailbox and received a handwritten, addressed letter?  I have, and it's one of the best feelings in the world.  There is nothing like reading the hand written words of someone who thought enough of you, to write down their thoughts and mail them to you personally.  I know this seems like a prehistoric method, but it's very endearing to me.  As nostalgic as handwriting may be today, it seems as if I'm not the only one who still believes in the power of the handwritten word.

Hannah Brencher, a young woman who grew up in a household where her mother didn't believe in internet or cell phones, hand written letters, was their way of keeping in touch with one another.   At the age of 23,  Hannah moved to New York City and came face to face with a severe case of depression.  She began dealing with her depression in the best way that she knew how.  She began writing love letters to complete strangers and leaving them all over New York.  These letters, I imagine, were being received by the most unlikely of characters, but the technique would spread quickly to Hannah's surprise.  She began receiving messages from complete strangers asking her to write a letter of affection or affirmation to them.  Hannah explains in her video, how her letters were not only reaching people that needed something to believe in, but that the letter writing was inspiring others to do the same.  The story that touched me the most was about a woman who's husband had just returned from Afghanistan and she was struggling to communicate with him.  The woman began leaving love letters all throughout the house asking him to come back to her when he could.  She pleaded with him to talk to her when he felt comfortable.  This is the type of unique ability I hope to achieve through my messages of hope.

I believe the joy in life is hidden under the glamorous "things" we continue to pursue.  It doesn't always take money to make a person smile or to ensure someone has a great day.  When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter of affection to someone you love?  I remember a couple of years ago when my son was 13 years old, I wrote him a hand written note telling him how much I loved and appreciated him.  A couple of weeks ago I was cleaning his room, (to my specifications) and I ran across the hand written note I had given him 3 years earlier.  I couldn't believe he still had that note.  I knew then, the hand written note has an affect that a typed letter will never have and that's your ink print.  An ink print is as unique as a fingerprint because there is no one else's handwriting that's like yours.  My son didn't just keep a little hand written note, he kept a note written specifically for him, by his Mother.  There is nothing more endearing and heartfelt than that.

Hannah, whether she realized it or not, had a unique effect on the people who received her mystery love letters.  The strangers that received these notes knew somebody took the time to sit down and write this note personally.  That's impressive considering if we could bottle time it would be the hottest commodity on the planet.  In using that perspective, for someone to take the "time" to write a love letter to a complete stranger has a heart that needs to share the stories they're taking the time to write.  This is why Hannah Brencher is my Ted.com speaker of choice.

Are you living "your" best life?

What is the true meaning of happiness?  Experts have been trying to find the answer to this question for centuries.  Honestly, in my opinion, there is no wrong answer.  The things that make us happy as individuals, are as different as the fingerprints we possess.  As a society, sometimes there's a tendency be judgmental toward individuals who are completely happy with the simplest of pleasures.  Not to mention, the individuals who are criticised because they want the very best for themselves, no matter the cost.  So, who's right?  Also, how can you recognize when you're living the life you've never dreamed of, nor wanted.

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a guest on the Dr. Oz show, has a happiness quiz that will measure your happiness in a matter of minutes, but what else can you do?  After existing in life, for literally years, I became brutally honest with myself about what I wanted.  Would you believe, for a moment, I was actually ashamed because it looked as if I wanted very little for myself.  What I eventually came to realize is that "little," was sufficient for me.  I didn't need to be CEO of the universe.  It wasn't fulfilling for me to have the newest gadget from year to year, and you know what, I'm happy.  It took years for me to get this place.  It's a place of peace and tranquility from the inside out.  I wonder how many people are waking up each morning, dreading the day ahead.  How many "CEO's" of the universe, would much rather be the owner of a small bed and breakfast in Omaha, Nebraska?  Beginning today, take inventory of what truly makes you happy.  This may sound easy, but it's far from it!

Some of us have spent so many years being who we thought we should be, that we have absolutely no idea who we truly are or what makes us truly happy.  For example, I go on a cruise every year to whatever destination I'm in the mood for.  It wasn't until this past Septemeber that I realized, I hate going on cruises!  I love the destinations, but the cruising is not something I care for.  I've continued to do it this long because of the "convenience" of getting to my chosen destinations.  What conveniences are you choosing, that is inadvertently making you unhappy?  It's taken five summers for me to realize I dislike cruising and it's the same thing when realizing what makes you happy.  It may take a few years for you to realize something you're doing isn't truly making you happy, but it's providing something that does.  Trust me, it's tricky trying to find out who you are and what you want, but it's well worth the effort.

Now that you've identified the areas that are making you unhappy, what, if anything, can you do to change it.  I only have the answer to that question for myself.  My strategy was changing little things, like learning to say no to things and people without feeling guilty.  Also, forcing myself, to take time out, for myself.  As I accomplished these small feats, I began to pay attention to larger issues and get to the root of my unhappiness.  This is an ongoing process, but my happiness is worth it, and so is yours! 

The worst thing in the world to me is growing old and looking back over my life with regrets.  I want my latter years to be filled with so many precious memories that it will be virtually impossible to wipe the grin from my face.  This is my goal, my destiny and my legacy.  What's yours?

Why Should I Hire You?

Although the title of my blog is the "Writer's Struggle," I wanted "writer" to represent any and every profession anyone may be pursuing.  As a writer, I am well aware of the competition I am up against when trying to secure a position in my field.  The one question that always seems to get me when I'm being interviewed is, "Why should I Hire You?"  I'm actually guilty of "thinking," (not saying) honestly, I have no idea.  What is it that employers want to hear?  Is there a right or wrong answer?  After interviewing the Director of Human Resources for a prestigious Hotel in Atlanta, the answer is definitely, "yes!"

CNN's Rachel Zupek, posted ten reasons why you may not be getting hired.  These reason range from lying in the interview to having too much digital dirt.  Yes, they are tracking your social media sites when making hiring decisions.  Please be responsible when posting pictures and/or questionable comments.  All of these reason are substantial when being interviewed by a potential Company but what happens when the decision comes down to two candidates?  If a Company has two candidates that are more than qualified for the same position, what other attributes can help you stand apart?  Different careers choices may have different qualifications they're looking for but one characteristic continued to come up in my conversation with the Director of Human Resources, Dee Dee Stewart.  That characteristic is, ATTITUDE.  Ms. Stewart states, boldly and without conviction, "I would rather hire an individual with a great attitude and less experience than one with great experience and a terrible attitude."  Anthony Balderrama has a unique view on how attitude affects not just your professional life, but how people perceive you in general. 

In the field of writing, writers have to be go getters.  It is virtually impossible to have an, "I give up," attitude as a writer, because you will be told "no," more often than "yes."  If you have the ability to take rejection as a stepping stone instead of an obstacle, there is no limit to your potential and your success.  I know many of you have heard the saying, "your attitude determines your altitude."  This is true in almost every aspect of life.  This trait can provide you limitless success especially when coupled with experience and the drive to succeed.  Another great quality that can determine your level of success, is your ability to fail.  In some instances, failure has been perceived as being negative, and this couldn't be further from the truth.  After all it's not the failure that's beneficial, it's the lessons learned from that failure and the attitude you choose in dealing with it.  Frederick P. has written a great article on why you need to fail.  It's impossible to fail at something you've never tried.  Who wants to go through life being so afraid of failure that you never try anything new.  It's not a very rewarding life.

Always remember as you prepare for your dream career, everything you've experienced in your life has made you who you are.  Embrace and recognize your strengths while continuing to work on your weaknesses.  Your attitude is a very important first impression and as they say, "you never get a second chance to make one."  Whenever I begin to have a bad attitude, I pretend I'm being watched by the very person holding my career in their hands.  You wouldn't believe how quickly my attitude shifts.  The truth is, you never really know who's watching, so carry yourself accordingly.  I believe you can do anything you set your mind and attitude to do.  Pursue your dreams and enjoy the journey because the destination means you've reached the end.  So the next time a potential employer asks, "Why should I hire you?" tell them, because, "I have the attitude to succeed!"

Life vs. Death

Are we truly living?

By Dawn E Wade

I have been thinking about life and death quite a bit lately.  My beloved friend, Lorenzo Rhodes recently lost four loved ones in the span of two months.  One of those loved ones being his father.  After I received the news, my heart went out to him and his family but my mind began to race.  I would think things like, "What was his father's last thoughts," and "Did he have any regrets?"  Was he able to accomplish his dreams and live the life he always wanted or was he just existing from day to day?  I remember about five years ago, my cousin, Francis Hatton went to work for the Employment Commission in Martinsville, VA.  As she sat at her desk working, she passed out and died from what we believe to have been an aneurism.  She was in her late twenties.  If we knew that our last day was today, what would we spend it doing?  I'm almost sure, if Francis had known what was about to happen, she  wouldn't have went to work, she would have spent her last moments with her son.  Unfortunately, none of us has any clue when our last day will be, so how do we account for each and every day and live it to the fullest?

When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be older, now that I'm older, I wish I had experienced more things when I was younger.  This is a habit I am in the process of breaking.  This article about living life to the fullest has plenty of ways to enjoy life right now.  In our society, we are obsessed with the rat race.  We are working sometimes 16 to 18 hours a day so that we can live the American Dream.  Yet, none of us have stopped to think that maybe my American Dream doesn't involve being the CEO of a Fortune 500 Company even if thats what I'm pursuing.  When you think about it, it's quite ironic.  Most of us spend our entire lives working so we can live more comfortably but in our to maintain the level of comfort we desire, it requires more working.  This means we never really get to truly enjoy the comforts we have created.  Is this what life is all about.  I have often witnessed families that our on or right above the poverty line, laughing and enjoying even the smallest of pleasures.  I have also witnessed families who have every material possession they desire but happiness has eluded them.  How many people do you know are continuing to live miserable lives because they are stuck in an unhappy marriage or job.  In the end, is it costing them more to stay?

Every year, I watch the 9/11 attacks documentaries that are air on the history channel.  There is one story in particular that grabs my attention no matter how many times I see it.  I can't remember the name of the victim but his story is compelling to me.  On the morning of 9/11, he was scheduled to be on American Airlines flight 11.  He had overslept that morning and was racing to make his flight.  He moved quickly through security and raced through the airport hoping he could make his flight.  I can't remember where he was headed but it was important for him to make his flight.  Unfortunately, he never made to his destination and because of the radical actions of a terrorist, he lost his life in the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center.  It was on that day, I decided to be anxious for nothing.  It was this story that taught me that sometimes the thing we run after is the very thing that will kill us.  

We do not have a say on when we are born or when we die but we can appreciate and enjoy every moment we are allowed to live and breathe on this earth.  How will you make every day count?  I've decided to laugh every day, I've decided to try and love all that cross my path, and I've decided to give thanks to God in the good and bad that comes into my life.  The truth is, the only time you truly know that you have is the moment you are in right now.  So try to stop rehashing the past, (it can't be changed) and try to stop focusing on the future so much, (it is not promised) and begin living your best life today.  You have every right to enjoy being who you are, so try to get the know the real you, and then you will know life has truly began.